Another recount

2days had past since my birthday, a lot have happened since then(refers to my last blog entry). Yeap i did it! My 'o' Mtrl exam got a B4(refers to marks that obtained between 61~64 marks), whee one less subject to study :) Also, i have gotten back my prelim results, English c5, maths d7, science d7, humanities c5, amaths f9. -.- Total disaster, i told myself. At this rate, i might even fail my national exams. Now i became very worried as my days were sallowed up by worries. 'Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to Gavin, happy birthday to you!' I see everyone faces were glistened with smiles, there seated my parents, my mother in particular, sigh, my heart experienced eclipse when i see her singing the song loudest. Her eyes were filled with joy when her son turns 17, i can tell that she's expecting something. What an disappointment am i, never fails to bring a frown to my mom, and to all. I'm numbed by the luxury life i had and i enjoyed it so much so that i couldn't give a dam even i can't produce an 'o' level certificate to my boss next time when i'm looking for a job. A stone's throw away until the 'o' level exams, i spent my days with my computer or entertainments and nothing else. I had just received a call from my cousin earlier on and he sounded as if he's running out of time for preparations for his 'o'. Why is everyone so busy struggling to compile extra inch of knowledge into their heads, and why am i the one still so relaxed by my computer. I really wondered why.. It has been nearly a week already ever since that incident which turn my life upside down. I would never had imagined lynn would be with his ex boyfriend in lan together, i'd asked her umpteen times to lan with me, immediately a soundly NO came out from her mouth. Since then, i am totally in a vast land alone, not knowing where to walk as it seems endless no matter which route i would try. I looked into my inbox folder today, and i could count all the messages that i received from lynn using all my fingers, because it's not even more than 10. Why is this happening. She am i had talked it through and we made it very clear that i will never cross this line to reality in our relationship developments. I am so sadden when she doesn't wish for any more progress with me. Sometimes i would ask her why is she sad in the phone, but when we talked, she's like 'ok enuf already, i wanna do my things'. Back to the topic my sweats were bulleting out from my body when i looked at the time now, it's just 20mins more before i am going out to lan to overnight. Oh my.. i gasp, i didn't had enough rest already. i wonder what am i going to play without lynn by my side, maybe dota from 6pm~8am? Haiz...i wish i had my atm card, if so, lynn wouldn't had to be so disappointed when we reached the max love points we can get, i know she's been wanting to get over with cuphea ring but i just can't, i had no @cash. FML i wish i could be in love again, i always thought there's always love in the human realm, but why couldn't i feel it!
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